When you have high expectations, it can be incredibly frustrating to feel like your hard work is not paying off, when your exceptions lead to disappointment. You may begin to believe that you are just doomed to fail at everything.

Many of us spend our lives waiting for the day when we finally reach our goals and become successful. We think about all the things we will do with our newfound success.

Very recently I had an experience where my expectation failed. I was disappointed and, in my heart I felt that all my plans were crushed. But, right away I decided not to dwell on the negative feeling that evening when I got the information but to sleep over it.

By the morning I was well refreshed because my brain had enough time to ruminate over it and I was ready to let go so that something new could approach. Have you ever experienced a failed expectation? What did you do? How did you move past the state of mind?

The feeling of a failed expectation is like a bird that was pushed from the nest. All your thoughts of safety, certainty and hope gone without a trace. And the most difficult thing is the decision that you have to make now.

Something certainly did work against you, but it is better to continuously make progress than to remain in a never-ending circle.

A failed expectation might be a good thing.

A lot of hoarders will tell you that all their stuff is important, even when they don’t need it. The feeling of losing something that is so dear to your heart cannot be sudden. It takes time to let go.

It takes time to make up your mind, it takes time to decide to move past your current perception, because that is the truth you know. Unless you do some thinking and reflection, you will not be open to other options.

Sometimes a failed expectation might be a good thing to propel you to a better option, that may have been clouded by your previous judgement. Allow yourself time to grieve then switch over to a growth mindset. Ask yourself

1. What can I do differently now?
2. How can I align my new reality to my goal in life?
3. What will happen If I don’t make a decision today?

These are just a few questions you can reflect on to, help you create a new pathway towards your goal in life, in spite of your failed expectation.

Create new expectations

A good time to visualize something new is when your expectation fails. The cortex in our brain has the ability to imagine things that did not exist before. Instead of focusing on your bad emotions and experience of a failed expectation put your brain to work.

Imagine new solutions and a new pathway to achieve that same goal. Start with clarifying what you wanted to achieve with that expectation.

1. What was it that made you hold on to it so badly?
2. What was it that you were going to gain or lose?
3. What need were you going to meet?
4. Is it possible to achieve this through another way?

You can stay stuck if you try to focus on your original expectation. Without opening yourself up for other possibilities you may be ignoring reality.

Unfortunately, reaching your goals does not always bring happiness or satisfaction in life, but there is one thing that will always make you happy – progress! It doesn’t matter if you don’t achieve what you set out to do; as long as you keep moving forward, by making progress each day, then your life will be filled with joy and fulfillment no matter how much money or fame or success comes into play.

When your expectation fails, don’t lose hope, begin again. Create a new expectation and continue on with life journey. There is a law of compounding effect, you can gain back all you think you’ve lost, if you start now by creating a new expectation.